Products

Soap for Bromance ~ Smells Like Someone Has a New Friend

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Frisbee golf date?

I used to consider you a lone wolf, but that's all in the past now. Yeah, I saw you buying that growler of Belgian dark ale for your new beer-whispering bestie. And what about the weekend guy trips to breweries and sporting events posted on your Instas? I gotta say, I'm loving this new lighter side of you. It's just so precious.

Testosterone Light (Teakwood and Cardamom) Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Cat Videos ~ Smells Like The Meaning Of Life

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Smells like the meaning of life

And cheaper than therapy

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Soap for Day Drinking ~ Smells Like Saturday (And Sunday and Monday...)

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

It's ten a.m. somewhere.

Honestly, Saturdays were made for day drinking. And Sundays. And Fridays and Mondays and Thursdays. But don't feel guilty about it. It's exactly like going to brunch, except hold the chicken and waffles. You don't want all that heavy grease and gluten screwing with your buzz anyway.

Mojito Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Delinquents ~ Smells Like Detention and the Back of the Bus

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

I see you.

You were the one spending every afternoon in detention while the rest of us carted home our school books and assignments ready to get started on another full night of rewarding homework to prepare for our futures. And you were the one cleaning desks during Saturday school and spending lunches in the principal's office while we practiced for the school play and cheered on the football team. And you... Oh, wait. That wasn't you. That was me.

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Soap for Drinking Buddies ~ Smells Like a Match Made in Tequila

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Meet me after work?

Haha. Like I have to ask. I'll see you at 5:01 p.m. on our usual stools at our usual spot with our usual drinks. There's such comfort in rituals. Speaking of rituals, I'm in the bathroom right now Snapchatting you on my fourth break of the day. Only two more breaks and it's five! Cya soon!

Dos Margaritas Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Festivus ~ Smells Like the Rest of Us

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Festivus is back, baby!

So grab that bare aluminum pole out of the crawlspace and get ready to air your grievances over a home-cooked meal. And if you even think you're getting out of the wrestling match I have planned, you've got another thing coming, pal! You disappointed me last Festivus by calling an Uber before things really got started, and that's just one of the many mistakes you made during the year, which I'm about to list, in alphabetical order.

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Soap For Fucking Christmas ~ Smells Like Sleeping Through December

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Amirite? It seems like we just put the decorations away and here we go again. (Literally, we just put the decorations away.) Of course, on the flip side, Black Friday is coming up and that's the one special day of the year where I spoil myself. I mean, who else is going to drop $195 on a ridiculous pencil sharpener I want just because it's "free shipping" day? 

Mistletoe & Ambien Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Gen X ~ Smells Like Teen Spirit

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Smells like teen spirit.

Hey, slacker. Remember those innocent days of worrying about which ugly vintage sweater to buy instead of stressing out about climate change and demagoguery? Perhaps you needed a real cause to inspire you to do great things. Other than trying to look like the coolest hobo, naturally. That's always a solid cause.

Freshly-Laundered Flannel Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Gen Z ~ Smells Like Soft Boys and Tik Tok

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Sksksk and I oop

Yeet! I'm so pumped about this soap for my generation! I just found out there were names for generations. And I just found out what a generation is. Sksksk and I oop and I oop! This is low-key the best thing I've ever heard. And don't call me a VSCO girl, ok? I'm so over that sksksksksk!

Never-Ending Slushie Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Generic Gifts ~ Smells Like a Re-Gift

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Smells like a re-gift

There are two kinds of people: people who regularly re-gift, and people who aren't steaming piles of garbage. There's really nothing more enjoyable than having to feign gratefulness over a set of hideous holiday hand towels you saw someone open last Christmas. Can you just stop already? Give me a card next time, or a holiday fist bump. Literally anything but another depression-inducing, decorative snowman serving platter. 

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Soap for Gettin' Lit ~ Smells Like Lunchtime Cocktails & Other Bad Ideas

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Wait, what's today?

Oh, hahaha. Like I care. What're we doing for lunch? Because I just found this adorable little bottle of mezcal under my car seat. That, plus a can of La Croix, and we're in business! The lunch business, I mean. I do have to get back by 3 for a video conference on "User Engagement Post-Snapchat." Whatever that means. I'll be sending snaps of my spiked can of Pamplemousse and low-key eye-rolling the whole time. It'll be lit!

Umbrella Drinks Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Grammar Police ~ Smells Like Your Annoying (Ahahaha)

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Smells annoying.

Just wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.

Jelly Doughnut Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Hangovers ~ Smells Like Hair of the Dog

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Why do I do this to myself?

The pounding headache, the cold sweat, the I'm-totally-gonna-vom-on-my-way-to-work feeling... yeah, we're familiar with the good ol' fashioned hangover. I'm never drinking again. Well, except that this Friday is happy hour at my fave biker joint uptown, and I just got some brand spankin' new leather pants for the occasion. Okay, I'm never drinking again till the weekend starts. Maybe.

Bloody Mary Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap For Ho Ho Hoes ~ Smells Like Someone's Been Up In Your Chimney

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

You know the best thing about the holidays? All the ho-ho-hoeing going on. It's why they call it the most magical time of the year. And when I saw this soap, I immediately thought of you. Who wouldn't? When it comes to hoeing, you're up there with the best of them. That's why everyone invites you to parties. (Oh, and hey. I wasn't calling you names or anything. I'm just jolly like that.) 

Peppermint Stick Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for It's Fine ~ Smells Like Somebody's Passive-Agressive

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

"No, really. It's fine. I'm totally not going to write anything for this soap. It's fine. I'm sure you're fine with that. Totally fine. I mean, you only offered me a glass of lukewarm tap water when I came to your party. So it's fine. Not payback or anything. I'm fine."

Plain Tap Water Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Karens ~ Smells Like A Can Of Hairspray And A 911 Trigger Finger

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Who let her in here?

Damn, we were all just minding our own businesses behind masks and politeness distances at Trader Joe's and in stormed THIS walking can of hair spray. She startled me so much I dropped my non-dairy oat beverage, which you know is vital to my health after that last bout with lactose intolerance at the skating rink. It's the question that keeps haunting us all. No really, who let her in here?

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Soap for Karma ~ Scented with HAHAHAHA

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

"What goes around... Comes around, we hope. And we're not necessarily talking about tricky STDs here, although, y'know, you reap what you sow. Hey! We didn't invent karma. You put all that good stuff out into the universe and you're supposed to get it back, whether through good fortune, or limited-time, minimum-purchase-required Olive Garden coupons, or whatever else it is you truly desire. And if you put those bad, icky vibes out there—not our fault. You know the deal. No free breadsticks coupons in your mailbox, pal. Not a one."

Laughing Buddha Scented (Indian Sandalwood) ; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Last Night ~ Smells Like I Can't Even

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

I. Just. Can't.

Grip your desk a little harder and try to forget what can only be described as the worst performance of Katy Perry's "Firework" to ever hit the karaoke circuit. And don’t even think of sidling up to the water cooler. Peg from accounting’s nasally voice is sure to induce the pukes, even if the ice-cold water doesn’t. And where the F is the Emergen-C?

Too Much Champagne Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Love Stinks ~ Smells Like Chocolate & Swearing Off Dating

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

"Yeah, yeah, love stinks. It does, doesn't it? And this is the LAST time I'm getting fooled by love. Not happening again. So don't expect to see me on Bumble ever again. That's right. I'm done. Forever. Wait, what were you just saying about your yoga instructor being single?"

Chocolate Strawberries Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Man-Splaining ~ Smells Like Thank You Soooooo Much

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

"So THAT'S what coffee smells like. You know, I've always smelled it around the office and wasn't quite sure what it was. I'm so glad you're around to explain it all. It can get pretty complicated for me when it comes to knowing anything. Case in point: when you showed me how to correctly sharpen a pencil, it was like, mind-blowing. Thanks, man. From the bottom of my heart."

"This is How Coffee Smells" Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Messy People ~ Smells Like a Potential Genius

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Signs of a genius:

Messy desk. Books stacked everywhere. Dirty dishes. Fast food napkin collection. Fourteen cats. Random underwear in the driveway.... wait a second. Maybe these are just signs of an established hoarder....

Unopened Mr. Clean Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Millennials ~ Smells Like Leave Me Alone, Boomer

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Is this latte fair trade?

Haha, jk. Kind of. Maybe in a parallel universe, the entire population at large isn't obsessed with me and my generation, but I sort of doubt it. And why should't you be? We're the only ones who actually care about this planet, obvs. So move over, boomers. We're taking the wheel.

Green New Deal (Bamboo) Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Morning People ~ Smells Like A Hell No

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Smells like a hell no.

Everyone knows I love mornings. Especially when they start after two, two-thirty in the afternoon. That way I can combine breakfast, lunch, and dinner into one healthy tomato smoothie. With vodka. A lot of vodka. And two pots of coffee as a follow-up. It's called coping, people. I have PTSD from not being invited to a single Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year.

Sugar Cereal Coma Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Office Naps ~ Smells Like Replying To Emails And Fading Aways

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

I wasn't sleeping.

 I was thinking really hard. Yes, sometimes my eyes close and my head lolls back when I think really extra-hard. Well yes, there can also be a smidge of drool. No really, it's actually a chiropractic-recommended ergonomic posture for aligning the neck muscles to alleviate a myriad of lower back problems that can arise from desk work such as sciatica and... hey, where are you going? I'm not bullshitting you this time, these are documented facts! Hey, it's called science, look it up!

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Soap for Outdoor People ~ Smells Like Fresh Air And Fresher Selfies

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Sunsets just get me.

If I'm inside, you can bet I'm thinking of being out. I'm just never more comfortable than when I'm knee-deep in swamps, poison ivy, and cicadas. In fact, I once knitted an entire sweater out of coyote fur and campfire smoke. If you don't believe me, check my Insta pics. I'm the one with the fierce abs, trail mix, and year-round suntan.

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Soap for Redheads ~ Smells Like a Fiery Disposition and Bathing in Sunblock

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Back off, pal.

Know what I don't care about? Your redhead fetish. Did it just develop the second you saw me, or were you always this creepy? And to the haters: Get a hobby, losers. You want to start a fight with me? I'm a true hot-headed, no-holds-barred ginger. I will take you down.

Spicy Cider Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Salty Servers ~ Smells Like Petty Customers and Biting Your Tongue

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Can we move to that booth over there?

I’ve got a tip for you: Don’t expect me to smile when I bring your custom salad: "Hold the lettuce, arugula, croutons, cheese and onions, zebra milk dressing on the side, oh and can I add tofu hand-kneaded by the Blue Hmong of Vietnam?" I mean, yeah, sure, coming right up!

Strawberry Milkshake Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Shit Shows ~ Smells Like Last Night

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

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Soap For Soul Mates ~ Smells Like Me And A Piping Hot Cinnamon Roll

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

My soul mate?

The truth of the matter is, that when I think of potential soul mates, I tend to think in terms of food, cats, booze, naps, Netflix, and knee socks. Oh. And you. Of course, you. I meant to say you first, I promise. As long as you're not getting in the way of my other soul mates. Then you're off the list.

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Soap for That's What She Said ~ Smells Like A Cream-Filled Snack Cake

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Why is this so hard?

That’s what she said! And who is she, you ask? The kinda person who has an office and a workspace, that's who. I mean, what kind of sociopath can create in the same place they conduct business? Hey, I know when I get frustrated, or irritated, or angry—I just smell all my soap and candles. And poof! It goes away, just like that. And that’s what she said.

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Soap for the Naughty ~ Smells a Heck of A Lot More Interesting Than Nice

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Are you naughty or nice?

No reason you can't be both, I always say. In fact, I like to break up my days as such: Day: Nice. Night: Naughty. Middle of the Night: Mean Drunk. I'm kidding! In the middle of the night, I'm usually crying in the shower and feeling sorry for myself just like everyone else.

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Soap for The Only Child ~ Smells Like an Imaginary Friend

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

Sharing?

Never heard of it. Y'know, I'll never understand, well, any relationship where I'm not the center of attention. See? Look at my phone. Ten new unread messages from Mom and four from Dad. And we all Skyped like 20 minutes ago. But don't worry! I'm super adorable and the most important person on earth so you'll never get sick of me. Don't believe me? Ask my parents.

Candy Apple of My Eye Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Tomorrow Okay? ~ Smells Like A Classic Procrastinator

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

ME, procrastinate?

Never. I just know how to get things done quickly, and at the last second. It's just how I operate. I feel sorry for all those suckers who have everything completed as soon as it's assigned. Fools! Why, I just spent the last few weeks doing absolutely nothing, and all I had to do was stay up for the last 48 hours straight and now look... I'll be done in only 8 more hours! It's called a "plan." Ok? Maybe you've heard of it.

Lava Lamp (Fruity) Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soap for Ugly Sweaters ~ Smells Like a Holiday Party

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

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Soap for You're The Worst ~ Smells Like That's Why I Love You

$ 11.95

Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!

But really. You are.

Of course, it makes me look that much better when I'm standing next to you. Which is the only reason I DO stand next to you. Kidding. You know I love ya. Even though you're the worst.

Snarky Candy Hearts Scented;  approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.

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Soapstone Incense Buddha Burner by Wild Berry

$ 14.99

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Soapstone Incense Holder w/ Silver Inlay - Moon Phases

$ 22.99

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Soapstone Round Incense Holder - Flower of Life - Natural

$ 18.99

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Soapstone Round Incense Holder - Tree of Life - Natural

$ 18.99

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Soapstone Wide Incense Holder - 7 Chakras

$ 22.99

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Soaring Soul Meditation Yoga Sticker

$ 4.25

Let this Peace Buddha Sticker keep you in calm spirits and remind you that peace comes from within your soul. This original Soul Flower art features a peaceful buddha. Die cut. Outdoor safe vinyl sticker. Made in the USA.  3.2 x 5.5 inches.

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Sodalite Diamond Shape Stone Pendant Necklace

$ 16.99

This stunning pendant features a polished teardrop shaped stone, comes with 18" silver tone chain.

Sodalite – Brings inner peace and harmonious communications, fosters knowledge and eliminates confusion. Unites practicalities with the sacred laws of the Universe.

Note: The written spiritual meanings and metaphysical properties of our gemstones and crystals are meant to be considered entertainment. None of the descriptions on this website and in our store are meant to replace medical advice or treat illness. We encourage you to use gemstones and crystals to enhance your life and broaden your mind, with the understanding the varied nature of each person's experience.

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Sodalite Indali Bracelet "Stone of Harmony and Balance" Handcrafted in India

$ 12.99

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Sodalite Tumbled Stone

$ 2.00

Tumbled stones are small, rounded, brightly polished pieces of rocks and minerals. They are made by placing rough rocks in a machine known as a rock tumbler, which tumbles them until their edges and surfaces are smooth and polished. As in nature, each stone has its own unique qualities in appearance.

Please see Measurement chart for sizing/cost for tumbled stones. Stone sizing is based on length of longest dimension.

Sodalite – Brings inner peace and harmonious communications, fosters knowledge and eliminates confusion. Unites practicalities with the sacred laws of the Universe.

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Solar Plexus Chakra Pewter Necklace

$ 12.99

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Some Superheroes Wear A Cape, Others Wear A Stethoscope Box Sign

$ 8.99

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Someone To Watch Over Me - Blessing Bell

$ 12.00

A small bell with a big purpose... an angel to watch over you while you travel, a lovely sound to remind you of someone you love, as well as a thoughful gift to bring a little happiness. This sweet token can be hung on front doors, vehicles and bags to protect and bring good luck!

• Zinc alloy
• The tiny silver bell comes in a soft organze bag with a sweet card telling the Blessing Bell story. Clip to your bag, keys or carry in your pocket. Features debossed details and lobster clasp.
• Bell: 2.25in L x 1in diameter, Card: 3.38in L x 2.88in W

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Something Beautiful Is On The Horizon - Art Print

$ 5.99 $ 11.99

There's no excuse for having plain, uninspiring walls with our new collection of ready-to-frame art prints.  Printed on high-quality, matte art paper, they feature witty and uplifting sayings along with on-trend typography that will both update your decor and lift up your spirits. 

8"w x 10"h

Designed for a standard 8" x 10" mat or frame (not included). 

Printed with soy-based inks on high-quality art paper.

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Song of India - India Temple Incense 15 gr

$ 3.99

The original, light, fresh scent of holy temples in India. This scent is designed to smell just like a temple in India. Using only the finest herbs, spices, fragrant wood powders, essential perfume oils and resins to create this heavenly aroma. A very fine fragrance that matches and blends into the human sense of scents.

Price is for one box.

The burning time is approx. 30 min. 

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Sonic the Hedgehog™ 2.5 Inch Articulated Figure

$ 10.99 $ 11.00

Sonic Articulated Figures - Recreate the Action from the Games!

Immerse yourself in the thrilling world of Sonic the Hedgehog™ with these authentic articulated figures. With multiple points of articulation, including the arms, legs, and head, these figures offer endless pose possibilities for action-packed play. The 2.5-inch figure assortment includes fan-favorite characters, making it a must-have for all Sonic fans.

Key Features:

• AUTHENTIC FIGURES: These figures capture the essence of the beloved video game characters with remarkable detail.
• MULTIPLE POINTS OF ARTICULATION: The figures' articulation allows dynamic poses and engaging play.
• IDEAL FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Kids will love playing with these figures, and collectors will appreciate their display-worthy quality.
• ENCOURAGES COLLECTING: The assortment encourages repeat purchases, making it a fantastic retailer opportunity.
• PERFECT GIFT FOR FANS: Kids and fans of all ages will be thrilled to add these figures to their collections.

Don't miss the opportunity to add these exciting Sonic items to your inventory. From articulated figures to die-cast vehicles and huggable plush, these products cater to Sonic fans, collectors, and kids. Stock up now, and let the Sonic adventures begin!

Ages 3+

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