Sold Out
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Let me overthink that...
Yeah, I know you only asked how my weekend went but I'm a little torn here. I mean, I got dumped but I wasn't really into him, so that's a non-issue, but will it make me sound callous? I mean, he ate chicken wings with a fork and knife and everything. But then I binge-watched You yesterday so it ended on a really high note and I'd way rather talk about that, but what if you ask me about my relationship and then I have to pretend that we're still together and....
Head Shop (Patchouli) Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Can we move to that booth over there?
I’ve got a tip for you: Don’t expect me to smile when I bring your custom salad: "Hold the lettuce, arugula, croutons, cheese and onions, zebra milk dressing on the side, oh and can I add tofu hand-kneaded by the Blue Hmong of Vietnam?" I mean, yeah, sure, coming right up!
Strawberry Milkshake Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Meetings.
The icing on the arsenic cake that is any weekday morning, afternoon or evening. And speaking of evenings... didja have to schedule the WebEx for 6:15 p.m. on a Friday, Becky? All to tell me you’d put feedback in the Powerpoint? Because you couldn’t put that in a fucking email? Don't worry. I'll text you all my feedback on Saturday around dawn.
Bourbon in My Coffee Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
It's a snow day somewhere...
But not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?
Poisoned Apple Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Mmmmmm...
Smell that? Yeah, nothing except maybe clean paint and a hint of chocolate chip cookie air freshener. No cat pee, spoiled milk, or the unmistakable stench of sadness. So huff on that baggage-free lifestyle for as long as you can because you’ll be back to wallowing in your own filth soon. New homes are only new for so long.
Trendy Terrarium Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Who you calling old?
Not me, pal. I'm 21. I've been 21 for years and I'm not about to make any abrupt changes now. Hey! Put that fancy calculator away. Don't you know I still shop at Forever 21? It's called that for a REASON. Now buy me a shot and shut your trap.
Sad Birthday Cake Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Smells annoying.
Just wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.
Jelly Doughnut Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Ugggggggh.
How is it only TUESDAY? It's been a full year since the work week started. I swear I can feel each individual cell in my body slowly dying to the beat of that annoying wall clock. And Glen in the next cubicle. Ghod. If he doesn't stop loudly smacking his gum and clicking his pen like some kind of deranged one-man band hoping for a record deal that will never happen, I'm going to write a scathing anonymous note about gum chewing and post it on the bulletin board with all my other scathing anonymous notes.
Gum-Smacking Co-Worker (Spearmint) Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
So classy.
That's what I thought when I saw you at the bus station in stilettos. And when I noticed your Starbucks cup filled with Boone's Farm, I said to myself, no. That is classy AF. I wish I could pull it off, but I'm resigned to scrunchies, pajama jeans and flip flops. That's just how I roll.
The Little Black Soap (Black Currant) Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Meet me after work?
Haha. Like I have to ask. I'll see you at 5:01 p.m. on our usual stools at our usual spot with our usual drinks. There's such comfort in rituals. Speaking of rituals, I'm in the bathroom right now Snapchatting you on my fourth break of the day. Only two more breaks and it's five! Cya soon!
Dos Margaritas Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Wait, what's today?
Oh, hahaha. Like I care. What're we doing for lunch? Because I just found this adorable little bottle of mezcal under my car seat. That, plus a can of La Croix, and we're in business! The lunch business, I mean. I do have to get back by 3 for a video conference on "User Engagement Post-Snapchat." Whatever that means. I'll be sending snaps of my spiked can of Pamplemousse and low-key eye-rolling the whole time. It'll be lit!
Umbrella Drinks Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Why do I do this to myself?
The pounding headache, the cold sweat, the I'm-totally-gonna-vom-on-my-way-to-work feeling... yeah, we're familiar with the good ol' fashioned hangover. I'm never drinking again. Well, except that this Friday is happy hour at my fave biker joint uptown, and I just got some brand spankin' new leather pants for the occasion. Okay, I'm never drinking again till the weekend starts. Maybe.
Bloody Mary Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Signs of a genius:
Messy desk. Books stacked everywhere. Dirty dishes. Fast food napkin collection. Fourteen cats. Random underwear in the driveway.... wait a second. Maybe these are just signs of an established hoarder....
Unopened Mr. Clean Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
I. Just. Can't.
Grip your desk a little harder and try to forget what can only be described as the worst performance of Katy Perry's "Firework" to ever hit the karaoke circuit. And don’t even think of sidling up to the water cooler. Peg from accounting’s nasally voice is sure to induce the pukes, even if the ice-cold water doesn’t. And where the F is the Emergen-C?
Too Much Champagne Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Well, your brother needs new shoes.
Mom packed lunches, signed permission slips, and dropped off your siblings at school before moseying down to the hospital for your arrival, so the story goes. And you consider yourself lucky that someone even remembered to take you home. But don’t worry, your turn will come… someday. In the meantime, dig through this pile of hand-me-downs for new school clothes, oh, and could you please do it in your corner of the room where you won’t be in everyone’s way?
Baby Lotion Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
But really. You are.
Of course, it makes me look that much better when I'm standing next to you. Which is the only reason I DO stand next to you. Kidding. You know I love ya. Even though you're the worst.
Snarky Candy Hearts Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Smells like a hell no.
Everyone knows I love mornings. Especially when they start after two, two-thirty in the afternoon. That way I can combine breakfast, lunch, and dinner into one healthy tomato smoothie. With vodka. A lot of vodka. And two pots of coffee as a follow-up. It's called coping, people. I have PTSD from not being invited to a single Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year.
Sugar Cereal Coma Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Smells like a motorcycle.$ 9.00
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Welcome to the Shit Show.$ 13.95
Hilariously fun liquid soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
For Real Dog Lovers! Exclusive formula slimes and lathers like a dog gone rabid!$ 13.95
Hilariously fun liquid soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Wash Them Away. Can it be done? Can these useless meetings actually be washed away? I mean, until people start actually reading the emails, I highly doubt it. Karen, I'm talking to you.$ 13.95
Hilariously fun liquid soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Yeah, Whatever. Wash your hands. Or don't. Whatevs.$ 13.95
Hilariously fun liquid soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Exclusively for Cat Lovers! Scented with staring contests and clawing up the sofa. What's not to love?$ 13.95
Hilariously fun liquid soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
A Little Bit Dramatic! This totally fetch formula makes you smell like, so pretty. So you agree? You think you're really pretty?$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
CAPRICORN
December 22-January 19
Smells like the boss of everyone.
Bergamot Boss Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
AQUARIUS
January 20 - February 18
Smells like a real do-gooder.
Progressive Papaya Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
PISCES
February 19 - March 20
Smells like some serious delusions.
Driftwood Dreamer Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
ARIES
March 21 - April 19
Smells like you only ride shotgun.
Aggressive Agave Lime Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
Smells like a gold-plated sundae.
Champagne Chic Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
GEMINI
May 21 - June 20
Smells like a split personality.
Whimsical Watermelon Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
CANCER
June 21 - July 22
Smells like buried emotions.
Moody Mojitos Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
LEO
July 23 - August 22
Smells like it's all about you.
Vanilla Vanity Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
VIRGO
August 23 - September 22
Smells like making a list to make a list.
Overthinking Oranges Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
LIBRA
September 23 - October 22
Smells like a peacekeeper.
French Lavender Flirt Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
SCORPIO
October 23 - November 21
Smells like a supervillain.
Vindictive Violets Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 - December 21
Smells like a disappearing act.
Wandering White Tea Scented; Net Weight: 6 oz.
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
$ 22.00
A vitamin-rich blend of botanical infusions and precious oils. Certified organic Chamomile, Echinacea and Green Tea extracts soothe and protect, while Jojoba, Sesame and Avocado oils provide instant hydration, leaving skin feeling silky and soft. Perfect for all skin types.
About Lotus Love Beauty, 100% handcrafted vegan personal care and candles in their studio in North Park, San Diego. The most pure and exotic oils, herbs, botanicals, and spices from around the world have been curated to accentuate inner beauty through aromatherapy and traditional Ayurvedic and yogic philosophies. All products are made fresh-to-order in small batches. Their signature blends are inspired by distant travels, the warmth of the sun, the power of the ocean, romance, and all that is divine.
$ 20.00
A sacred gift that includes Palo Santo Sticks (4" length) & Selenite Wands (3" length) bundled with Kalava String.
Selenite wand: Aids in personal transformation by drawing down light from the higher realms. This universal, high vibration crystal cleanses your aura and clears the way for new, healing energy to pass through.
Palo Santo Stick: Nicknamed “holy wood,” this revered tree cleanses away negativity and grounds personal energy to invoke a meditative state. Our Palo Santo is sustainably harvested only after the tree has died and laid untouched in its natural habitat for several years. This process allows the sacred, medicinal, and mystical properties of the wood to manifest. In addition to being sustainably harvested, a portion of the sales of our Palo Santo is dedicated to replanting.
Tied with Kalava string, a sacred thread to tie on the wrist. The knot holds love, protection, and goodwill for the wearer.
To use Palo Santo: Holding one end of the palo santo stick, light the opposite end using a match or lighter. Allow it to burn (watch your fingers!) for 30 seconds, then blow out the flame. Move the stick around the area you wish to clear, letting the smoke cleanse away any negative energy. The stick will burn out on its own, but make sure to let it burn out completely before setting it on any flammable areas. You can place it in a metal or ceramic surface to allow it time for the embers to die. Make sure to set new intentions to fill your cleansed space!
$ 28.99
Slow down and curl up with this huggable sloth.
Soft, soothing, heatable, and freezable.
Filled with Lavender and Buckwheat.
9.75 x 14 x 1.5
$ 28.99
All you have to do is heat me up in the microwave. (not suitable for making guacamole)
Soft, soothing, heatable, and freezable.
Filled with Lavender and Buckwheat.
9.5 x 10.75 x 1.25
$ 28.99
Your fortunes may take a turn for the better with this lucky cat.
Soft, soothing, heatable, and freezable.
Filled with Lavender and Buckwheat.
9.75 x 13.5 x 1.5
$ 19.99
This body care kit makes a great natural materials gift. Includes two bars of handmade soap scented with cucumber and coconut, and a natural fiber body scrubber, tied together in a palm leaf basket. All our soaps made in India use palm oil grown on local plantations. This palm oil provides work to local farmers and does not contribute to deforestation. A Global Fair Trade gift.
Creating this kit involves the contributions of two artisan workshops. Artisans working with Palam Rural in Tamil Nadu, India, make the handmade soap. Artisans employed by Community Action for Social Transformation (CAST) weave the palm leaf baskets. CAST provides employment and healthcare to women affected by HIV and AIDS. All our soaps made in India use palm oil grown on local plantations. This palm oil provides work to local farmers and does not contribute to deforestation.
2 soaps
Natural fiber body scrubber
Palm leaf basket
10Lx5Wx2H inches
Made in India
$ 12.99
Hemp fiber, with an ancient history of use around the world, is back in fashion for its strength and quality. Bangladeshi artisans harvest, spin and knit natural hemp fiber to create this earth-friendly washcloth.$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
You know the best thing about the holidays? All the ho-ho-hoeing going on. It's why they call it the most magical time of the year. And when I saw this soap, I immediately thought of you. Who wouldn't? When it comes to hoeing, you're up there with the best of them. That's why everyone invites you to parties. (Oh, and hey. I wasn't calling you names or anything. I'm just jolly like that.)
Peppermint Stick Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 9.95
Hilariously fun bar of soap from Whiskey River Soap Co., makes a great gift!
Amirite? It seems like we just put the decorations away and here we go again. (Literally, we just put the decorations away.) Of course, on the flip side, Black Friday is coming up and that's the one special day of the year where I spoil myself. I mean, who else is going to drop $195 on a ridiculous pencil sharpener I want just because it's "free shipping" day?
Mistletoe & Ambien Scented; approx 6 oz soap. All Whiskey River Soaps are handmade and no two bars are identical.
$ 22.99
A fabulous value and perfect gift! A gift box of Timber Lake goodies including a soy votive 20-hour candle, fragrant sugar pine & cinnamon sachet (2oz), bath salts sachet (4oz) and mini soap (2oz). Handcrafted in the Sonoma Valley in California by Sonoma Lavender.
Sold Out
Our luxurious Lavender Shower Gel and Body Lotion are packaged together in a pretty box and finished with a ribbon. This is a perfect gift for relaxation and self care! The body lotion includes Lavender Essential Oil and antioxidants, smooths & soothes dry skin. Mango Seed Butter and Vitamin E moisturizes and helps skin to appear more youthful (8oz.) The shower gel is an irresistible way to start the day with lavender-infused gentle coconut cleansing formula with nourishing vitamins (8oz.) Handcrafted in the Sonoma Valley in California by Sonoma Lavender.
$ 57.99
A beautiful gift of relaxation and calm! Lavender Spa Mittens in Classic Dot are packaged together with our Classic Lavender Hand Creme. Gift ready in a pretty lavender box and finished with ribbon.
$ 82.99
A beautiful gift of relaxation and calm! A stunning gift basket includes Spa Mask, Shower Gel, Body Lotion, and Votive Candle. Gift ready in a gift basket with beautiful ribbon set.
$ 22.99
A fabulous value and wonderful gift full of little treasures of a eucalyptus scented votive 20-hour candle, sachet (0.3oz), bath salts (4oz) and soap (1.6oz). Makes a lovely and unique teacher or hostess gift.